I haven't given up salsa, but I came very close to quitting the scene because I realised:
- spending 5 years in the scene, hanging out with the same folks 3-4x a week, going to parties, staying out late - all that time invested into something very fleeting. I have come to realise that the people I hung out with so much were not genuine, true friends I could count on. The salsa scene just tends to produce fleeting friends, who are here this month, and gone the next. I mean I met some good people but I had hoped to make real lifelong friends with a lot of them but time somehow showed them to be flakes. I learned that going to parties and eating out at denny's with people for years doesn't make a solid friendship.
- i made the mistake of getting caught up in all the drama. I somehow seemed to always be told about every little piece of gossip about everyone else.. one sees and knows about the personal lives of a lot of people, and a lot of it can be very murky. After a while, I became very cynical in my view of human beings in general, because i had heard about which guy had played which poor girl - who I might have seen like a little sister, or which girl played two best friends in the salsa scene, and god knows what else. there are numerous, more personal stories of course, and a lot of pain I could have avoided. Nothing worse than walking into a room knowing everyone there has affected each others' personal lives in some way in the past.
The conclusion I came to was that the dance in itself is amazing and fun. The socializing side of it, or the 'scene' is intrinsically unhealthy and being too involved or vested in it emotionally is not worth it. I think people leave the scene because they realise that there is nothing substantial to be gained by putting in so much time dancing, at the expense of having a balanced life, with non-salsa friends, etc. i don't think one can have a wholesome life if they are going out 3-4x a week, staying out late, dancing for hours, spending time with people but no real relationships develop, beyond a 'hi' 'bye'.. i think this is all an illusion
Hence my conclusion to extricate myself out of the social scene, but not the dance scene. ie, stay on a team and practice, dance 1x a week, but not really socialize with anyone in it. I have found it best to socialize outside of it. People in my scene might look at me and think , 'oh, he's left the scene'... but i see it as cutting out the unhealthy part of salsa and keeping only the best parts - the dance
- spending 5 years in the scene, hanging out with the same folks 3-4x a week, going to parties, staying out late - all that time invested into something very fleeting. I have come to realise that the people I hung out with so much were not genuine, true friends I could count on. The salsa scene just tends to produce fleeting friends, who are here this month, and gone the next. I mean I met some good people but I had hoped to make real lifelong friends with a lot of them but time somehow showed them to be flakes. I learned that going to parties and eating out at denny's with people for years doesn't make a solid friendship.
- i made the mistake of getting caught up in all the drama. I somehow seemed to always be told about every little piece of gossip about everyone else.. one sees and knows about the personal lives of a lot of people, and a lot of it can be very murky. After a while, I became very cynical in my view of human beings in general, because i had heard about which guy had played which poor girl - who I might have seen like a little sister, or which girl played two best friends in the salsa scene, and god knows what else. there are numerous, more personal stories of course, and a lot of pain I could have avoided. Nothing worse than walking into a room knowing everyone there has affected each others' personal lives in some way in the past.
The conclusion I came to was that the dance in itself is amazing and fun. The socializing side of it, or the 'scene' is intrinsically unhealthy and being too involved or vested in it emotionally is not worth it. I think people leave the scene because they realise that there is nothing substantial to be gained by putting in so much time dancing, at the expense of having a balanced life, with non-salsa friends, etc. i don't think one can have a wholesome life if they are going out 3-4x a week, staying out late, dancing for hours, spending time with people but no real relationships develop, beyond a 'hi' 'bye'.. i think this is all an illusion
Hence my conclusion to extricate myself out of the social scene, but not the dance scene. ie, stay on a team and practice, dance 1x a week, but not really socialize with anyone in it. I have found it best to socialize outside of it. People in my scene might look at me and think , 'oh, he's left the scene'... but i see it as cutting out the unhealthy part of salsa and keeping only the best parts - the dance
