Specific Goal for Private Lessons?

[Cheery]

Must one have a specific goal when taking Private Lessons?

They are expensive, and I am just dancing for fun and to build confidence, have no desire to compete, have no dance partner, and do not really dance outside of my privates.

I have been dancing for just 5 1/2 months with a private teacher. I started out in a studio focusing on beginners, did an intro styles package, found the instructor too technical, talked too much and danced too little, so transferred school and found new private teacher.

At the start, I did one group class at that first school and found it extremely boring as the men did not know what they were doing. One man was particularly rude, correcting me harshly. He was pretty lousy, too!

For that reason, I left that school and got turned off with group lessons, waste of time, I thought, to partner with men who I thought would make me "unlearn" what I paid for in my privates.

At the new school, my private instructor was much better in that he went straight into dancing and really focuses on teaching you as much as possible in the lessons. Not much time is spent talking, it is mostly dancing.

Five and a half months down the line, I find that I am paying for eight lessons a month (now that I have the time I figure why not, till I start my new job) and it was his idea that I dance for the bronze medal test which is a couple of months away.

When I started with him he asked what my goals are and I said it is just to dance for fun. Perhaps to structure the lessons somewhat and make me more interested, and to chart my progress, he suggested dancing for the medal.

I was intimidated by this at first but now I see what it's simply a way of categorizing one's level. Well and good.

Now going back to my privates, I still do not have a specific goal and sometimes I wonder what about it fascinates me so much (Latin Ballroom).
I love the grace and technique, the exuberance of the music and the "Latino Fire" within that makes the dance look good.

However outside of the privates I have no real opportunity to dance with anyone anywhere and I just practice by myself at home. I'm too intimidated to go to a social and wondered, what happens to all the women who take private classes who are like me? Do we really have to have a goal?

I totally enjoy my lessons and love what i am learning and the physical confidence I am gaining. Are there many out there like me, or do most people out there taking privates have goals toward competing?

[Gorme]

Originally Posted by Cheery

what happens to all the women who take private classes who are like me? Do we really have to have a goal?

Over time, your teacher will convince you that doing the studio showcases or Pro/Am competition will be a good idea.

[latingal]

Originally Posted by Cheery

However outside of the privates I have no real opportunity to dance with anyone anywhere and I just practice by myself at home. I'm too intimidated to go to a social and wondered, what happens to all the women who take private classes who are like me? Do we really have to have a goal?

I totally enjoy my lessons and love what i am learning and the physical confidence I am gaining. Are there many out there like me, or do most people out there taking privates have goals toward competing?

Welcome to DF Cheery!

Well in the US (not so much in the Australia as we've been told by our Aussie contingent), pro-am - where an amateur dancer is partnered with his/her teacher - is very big. I would venture to guess that most compete, but like you some do not.

Perhaps you already have a goal, but just have not set it firmly. It sounds like you want to enjoy the process and challenge of learning to dance. To be the best dancer you can be?

[DL]

(I'm a leader.)

You asked a lot of different things.

Social dance experiences are a topic all their own. You can have great ones, awful ones, and everything in between. It seems not uncommon for early experiences to include some disappointments; but sticking it out through those can often turn out to be worthwhile.

I think many might agree that it's easier to have fun at social dances, group classes, and competitions, and even to find a suitable amateur partner, if you build up some relationships in the dance community -- but if that's your goal, you have to get out there and participate, first.

All of that is IMO quite apart from the question of, "Should one have a goal for a private lesson?". For me personally, the no-brainer answer is, "yes." My advice is to have a clear sense of what you want (in exchange for your time and your money!), but also to have a healthy willingness to adjust your focus as you become aware of different possibilities over time.

[Cheery]

Originally Posted by Gorme

Over time, your teacher will convince you that doing the studio showcases or Pro/Am competition will be a good idea.

You mean some of those people were "convinced" by their teacher? I wondered why they compete, but now it's becoming a bit clear that people do more challenging things as they learn, perhaps they started out like me not even wanting to compete.

[Cheery]

Originally Posted by DL

(I'm a leader.)

I think many might agree that it's easier to have fun at social dances, group classes, and competitions, and even to find a suitable amateur partner, if you build up some relationships in the dance community -- but if that's your goal, you have to get out there and participate, first.

Yes I realize that there is no way I will find a partner to dance with if I don't get out there! It's just a bit unnerving imagining what a social would look like, people sitting around waiting to be asked?! Ulk. I wish they called them "practice dances" instead of "socials," it would be less intimidating, more casual...

I think I am "losing the plot" a bit by taking private lessons and having no one else to dance with, other than my instructor.

I tried going to group dance classes of the same level but some of the men were just "out of it" and I got more confused. On the other hand, a couple of them were more advanced than me and I even stepped on their feet (this was a few months ago though, and my teacher says I have improved!).

I just told myself that if I don't go to group lessons, then all I'll know is how to dance with a guy who is of the level of my teacher, and I won't learn how to follow other leads.

However my teacher told me not to go to the group lessons because "we're already covering that in the private lessons."

What do you make of this?

What would be ideal is if I found a guy who has similar goals and is looking for a partner to dance with also, we could even split the fee for the private lessons. (How can I find one, help!)

All of that is IMO quite apart from the question of, "Should one have a goal for a private lesson?". For me personally, the no-brainer answer is, "yes." My advice is to have a clear sense of what you want (in exchange for your time and your money!), but also to have a healthy willingness to adjust your focus as you become aware of different possibilities over time.

I suppose what I want in exchange for my time and money is to become a confident and assured dancer who looks good on the floor and whom other can even admire (?) for my dancing.

THis is totally out of my usual activity, and dancing has built my physical confidence tremendously. Sometimes during my lesson I look in the mirror and can't even believe that is me, doing those things!

[Cheery]

(Sorry, I have posted this again because it came out in italics as part of the quote I was quoting!)

Yes I realize that there is no way I will find a partner to dance with if I don't get out there! It's just a bit unnerving imagining what a social would look like, people sitting around waiting to be asked?! Ulk. I wish they called them "practice dances" instead of "socials," it would be less intimidating, more casual...

I think I am "losing the plot" a bit by taking private lessons and having no one else to dance with, other than my instructor.

I tried going to group dance classes of the same level but some of the men were just "out of it" and I got more confused. On the other hand, a couple of them were more advanced than me and I even stepped on their feet (this was a few months ago though, and my teacher says I have improved!).

I just told myself that if I don't go to group lessons, then all I'll know is how to dance with a guy who is of the level of my teacher, and I won't learn how to follow other leads.

However my teacher told me not to go to the group lessons because "we're already covering that in the private lessons."

What do you make of this?

What would be ideal is if I found a guy who has similar goals and is looking for a partner to dance with also, we could even split the fee for the private lessons. (How can I find one, help!)

[DL]

Originally Posted by Cheery

Yes I realize that there is no way I will find a partner to dance with if I don't get out there! It's just a bit unnerving imagining what a social would look like, people sitting around waiting to be asked?! Ulk. I wish they called them "practice dances" instead of "socials," it would be less intimidating, more casual...

A lot has been said on that subject on DF. Have you seen any of those threads?

At any rate, you know, if you go to them thinking of them as practice dances, guess what -- ta-da, they're practice dances!

I think I am "losing the plot" a bit by taking private lessons and having no one else to dance with, other than my instructor.

I tried going to group dance classes of the same level but some of the men were just "out of it" and I got more confused. On the other hand, a couple of them were more advanced than me and I even stepped on their feet (this was a few months ago though, and my teacher says I have improved!).

I just told myself that if I don't go to group lessons, then all I'll know is how to dance with a guy who is of the level of my teacher, and I won't learn how to follow other leads.

That all seems sensible to me. Over time dancing with more and less experienced partners in group classes may seem more manageable. As for stepping on feet: once in a while a social dance partner or classmate apologies for stepping on my feet; I invariably tell her not to worry because (probably like most guys) I've stepped on *far* more feet than have stepped on mine.

However my teacher told me not to go to the group lessons because "we're already covering that in the private lessons."

What do you make of this?

Sure, the material is probably the same. You're probably seeing it in more detail with more personal focus in the private lesson than in the group class. Personally, I think I get more value from private lessons by combining them with group classes. It's more time on the floor, with a variety of rotating partners of different experience levels, with a teacher to answer questions. Plus, it's a way to get to know fellow dancers one might see at social dances or other dance events.

As an aside, what will the group class be like? Lots of technique? Lots of steps? Lots of Q&A? Advanced? Repetitive? Frequent rotation of partners? Lots of couples who don't rotate? My opinion: it depends on the group, sometimes more than it does on the teacher.

(So why did your teacher tell you that you didn't need the group class? It's very hard to say without seeing the whole context personally. My advice is that if you'd like to try doing both lessons and classes, do both. If a teacher seriously objects strongly to that and makes much of it, it's probably worth trying to figure out why.)

What would be ideal is if I found a guy who has similar goals and is looking for a partner to dance with also, we could even split the fee for the private lessons. (How can I find one, help!)

Much has been said on that subject on DF, as well. But for a brief answer, getting to know fellow dancers in classes and at social events probably can't hurt.

[tanya_the_dancer]

Originally Posted by Cheery

You mean some of those people were "convinced" by their teacher? I wondered why they compete, but now it's becoming a bit clear that people do more challenging things as they learn, perhaps they started out like me not even wanting to compete.

I definitely was "convinced" into competing by my teacher. I was somewhat abstractly interested in dance competitions in general, but never considered myself to be capable enough to actually do it. So I needed that initial push.

[Leonid Turetsky]

In general having some sort of a goal may give you a certain amount of enthusiasm towards dancing. Many people may lose the "drive" to improve when they haven't gotten a goal to work towards. But then again seems like you do have at least SOME goals like "gaining confidence" and "having fun" so that's good.

And I'd say going to socials/practice sessions would not be a bad idea for someone who is doing this for fun....otherwise why do ballroom dancing in particular.... Isn't one of the thrills of doing Latin/Ballroom dancing is to be able to lead/follow different partners?