Salsa > Bachata only with Significant Other?

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by lalagirl, Dec 21, 2010.

  1. MissKitty

    MissKitty New Member

    My latin (ballroom latin) partner teaches salsa and Bachata, when I dance with him we have full body contact because we are just used to it, its no big deal for us.

    With some friends I have met through him in the salsa scene I dont mind dancing with some body contact, but no too much.

    With someone at a social that I havent met before I prefer no body contact.

    I think as others have said that it is very much depends on the circumstances and can be modified to suit who you are dancing with.

    Just my two cents worth also, if your partner refuses to learn, even give it a try, and you love it? Asking for trouble! lol
  2. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    As to SOs that don't want to dance, that has been discussed a few times in different threads. In some relationships it's no problem, and in some it's a big problem. You've got to consider the entire context for the specific case. We can give some points to consider, but every specific situation has its own best, or least bad, solution.
  3. MissKitty

    MissKitty New Member

    I can only speak for myself and my own situation, but my SO would need to enjoy dancing (dont have to be any good, just like doing it) purely because it is such a big part of my life, if SO wasn't even willing to give it a try, I wouldnt be trying out said relationship. I would always make effort for my partner if there was something they were so passionate about,

    Im not saying this is right or that anyone else should think like me, just that this is the way I am.

    Also SO's that are also dancers, usually understand why I need to feel up another man several nights a week at latin practice. lol (always exceptions to the rule)
  4. LatinDanceFever

    LatinDanceFever New Member

    I've been dancing for many many years now and teach salsa and bachata so I thought I'd give my input. It's a complex situation as if you would like to learn you need a partner to practice with especially as your significant other doesn't want to learn but ToothlessTiger summed it up quite well:

    As a female learning the dance we're following our partners and some movements may be considered too intimate for some even if they're a friend you feel comfortable with. I've had countless situations where I've been dancing with a friend that I felt comfortable with to find they had different intentions due to dancing so much together and spending a great deal of time together practising.

    What I would think about is if the situation was reversed and you didn't want to learn dance but your significant other did would you be comfortable him learning bachata without you and doing the same moves with your teacher? What about in a class situation? What about social dancing?

    I would tell him to come to a class at least once because it means so much to you. If he's the right kind of guy he will at least once.
  5. Turbo

    Turbo New Member

    If you don't enjoy it, it doe snot serve the purpose
  6. Austin

    Austin New Member

    +1 that's what it sounds like to me. sounds like she is trying to get a reaction out of her bf.
    lalagirl saids "its really too bad I cant dance it with anyone because I ADORE bachata music,,..."

    It is not a requisite to have a partner to dance Bachata. It is also a false equivalency to state that one cannot enjoy Bachata without a dance partner.

    Therefore ADORING bachata music and feeling the sensual embrace of a man while he moves to bachata music are two completely different things.

    You claim to adore the music, but you describe adoring the connection with the man. Careful.

    Sounds like she is hoping to spur her bf into action, though I've never seen induced jealousy spur anything but trouble.
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2014
    Batchataqueen92 likes this.
  7. stepbystepsalsa

    stepbystepsalsa New Member

    Bachata dancing does not have to be that close. I think that way of dancing bachata has devoloped due to either "a wrong interpretation of it" or because there might be the need to transform everything into being sexi at the extreme due to the misconception that the hotter or 'the dirtier' the better. That is why a large number of dance instrucotrs feel the need to make it look more like that thinking that in this way it would be sold more.
    I do not know if it is more a way of thinking of European countries or if it is also like that in America. Anyway, the original Bachata, that is the Dominican one, looks completely different than those adaptations such as the "sensual bachata" which has developed recently. It is full of syncopations and sofisticated footwork. In my opinion, much more fun, much more near to the 'really dancing to the music and toying with the rhythm'. Due to its peculiarity of being rich of footwork variations, this make learn Dominican Bachata at an advanced level harder but at the same time it's definitely more fun because you really toy with the rhythm. This is at least the my reading of the situation :)
    Batchataqueen92 likes this.
  8. Batchataqueen92

    Batchataqueen92 New Member

    I personally only like batchata dancing with my boyfriend but I have had social danced with a few people in the past and it wasn't the end of the world. I personally think that it's all about what your boundaries are and what you and your partner is cool with.
  9. Batchataqueen92

    Batchataqueen92 New Member

    every time my bf explains that he danced batchata I personally think that he was grinding on her, touching her, etc.. but realistically he was in a open hand held position and doing very basic patterns. :rofl:
  10. Angel HI

    Angel HI Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the DF, BQ.
  11. Newdancer81

    Newdancer81 Active Member

    I can only dance bachata in a very close embrace with people I have danced with before at least 10x plus or my instructor. I won't do body-to-body contact unless it is with these people. Otherwise, I keep my distance and do it sort of like salsa, but slightly closer.
  12. MaggieMoves

    MaggieMoves Well-Known Member

    Agreed entirely. I've only seen a handful of people do this, and it really looks like a lot of fun. The footwork looks absolutely crazy... a lot faster than any salsa.
  13. DanceMentor

    DanceMentor Administrator

    They played the bachata at the ballroom social at a studio I go to and often what happens is a teacher gets up and leads a line dance so it is easy for everyone to participate if they don't want to dance bachata with a partner.
  14. tangotime

    tangotime Well-Known Member

    Angel HI likes this.
  15. Angel HI

    Angel HI Well-Known Member

    Never heard of such.......:jawdrop:
  16. Newdancer81

    Newdancer81 Active Member

    I was looking for a thread on bachata and trying to avoid getting closer emotionally and this was the closest I found. My instructor wants us to perform a "practice bachata" routine for a party and then another one for our studio showcase. We've been doing this for a few months and I understand that modern bachata is supposed to dance very close in most cases and our pelvis' do touch. The first few times we danced close, she told me to get closer and closer.

    My problem is that I think my instructor and I also have a good emotional connection since we have similar interests outside of dance and dancing bachata with her, it is hard to ignore the obvious chemistry (even if it's just as dance partners) that we have. I've danced with my other instructor as well and sometimes we dance close, but not as close and the chemistry isn't as prevalent.

    So my question is, how do you "turn off"/separate your feelings when dancing so close?
  17. Generalist

    Generalist Active Member

    Most of the dancers that have a problem with close body contact are inexperienced beginners. As you climb the skill ladder you and your partners will lose their reluctance to make close body contact.

    So, my best advice is to not force the issue. Bachata can be danced in a ballroom hold that is no more sexy than Waltz. As you gain experience with that dance the closeness fades as an issue.

    Ultimately it's the lady that has to set the distance with her partner. Ladies, you should avoid men that don't listen to the cues and dance too close. If you get stuck with one of them then tell them verbally that you feel the dance is too close.
    theAnnelis likes this.
  18. Newdancer81

    Newdancer81 Active Member

    Oh I have no problem with close contact with my instructor. She is one of the few people I am comfortable with dancing in such a close embrace. Even during our studio parties, I sometimes try to separate after 30 seconds or so, but then it feels like she doesn't want to and we end up doing more than 1/2 the song with our pelvis' touching.

    My issue is how do I separate the "dance feeling" vs. the "emotional/physical feeling"? Basically, how do I compartmentalize?
  19. salsapeople

    salsapeople New Member

    Hey! I adore bachata dance.!
    Coz, Bachata tanz is a social dance, implying that it is moved as a rule by couples as opposed to separately.
  20. SFdancer820

    SFdancer820 New Member

    I believe it is a very obvious line when it is crossed. That being said, It is okay to dance bachata as long as it is communicated and discussed between the couple :)

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