Tango Argentino > How do you feel about talkative people?

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by koinzell, Mar 7, 2017.

  1. koinzell

    koinzell Active Member

    Personally, I try to avoid verbal communication from when I cabeceo until the end of the tanda. Of course, if someone asks me for my name, where I'm from, or says "thank you" then I will reply to them. I just find it very annoying when people stand and talk on the dance floor in-between songs or during the cortina, especially those who do it for a prolonged amount of time.

    I do engage in conversation off the dance floor, just hate it on the dance floor.
    Danzzz36 likes this.
  2. TomTango

    TomTango Active Member

    I find conversation at the end of the tanda difficult because if you talk for too long, you miss out on getting a dance for the next tanda. Most dance partners start sizing up their next dance the moment they get off the floor, and get annoyed if you try to distract them.

    So really it's the only opportunity to get to know the person you're dancing with unless you can catch them sitting out a tanda. Also, it's de rigueur to chat for the first 30 seconds of the song, so it's not like you can dance since everyone else is talking. Winding down the chit chat and transitioning to the embrace can be so awkward though!

    But I get what you mean...oftentimes the conversation feels forced and can take you out of the connection.
  3. newbie

    newbie Well-Known Member

    I usually talk while on the dance floor during the first seconds of a song. Not a conversation really, just a few words instead of just doing nothing for the first 14 tempi.
    Also depends on the song itself. On Pugliese's A Evaristo Carriego for instance, I will say nothing, and very very slowly go into the abrazo.
  4. itwillhappen

    itwillhappen Active Member

    I would expect to get passed after five seconds of talking at a german milonga. Who likes to talk can do that before entering the ronda, that's it.
  5. sixela

    sixela Well-Known Member

    Customs differ from milonga to milonga. I would expect to behave like most of the other locals (I don't appreciate people who try to enforce their idea of a ronda on others because they think they are "more correct" than the others).

    Some tangos have introductions that are _really_ not meant for dancing, though...I would usually leave lots of room for people to pass me, but it's obvious from my reaction that I am sometimes utterly baffled when people dance on these tracks from the first note.
    itwillhappen likes this.
  6. Talking while dancing is not good. It distracts from being in the spirit and interferes with the actual dancing. Otherwise it's great!:D
  7. sixela

    sixela Well-Known Member

    I don't think anyone advocates talking while dancing (I find that distracting even when I'm in the couple _next_ to the perpetrator!)
  8. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    I don't mind a few exchanged pleasantries or whatever while waiting for the next song to start, etc, but not a drawn out conversation.
  9. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    A friend of mine (dancing for approximately 6 years) yesterday danced with one of those particular, précieuse alpha-gazelles:
    (me) And?
    (him) She said I was a good dancer.
    (by myself) I usually say this to poor dancers.​
    Mladenac likes this.
  10. This may be off topic a bit, but telling someone that he/she is a "good dancer" is inappropriate while dancing in a Milonga. This implies judging their abilities and skills and should not be a part of a social event.
    Instead I say "I had fun dancing with you" or "you are fun".
    ArbeeNYC and opendoor like this.
  11. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    I disagree. It's a compliment... Why over-analyze it?
    dchester and Mladenac like this.
  12. jantango

    jantango Active Member

    I've had conversations with milongueros viejos over the years on this subject, and I learned the following about how it used to be in the milongas of Buenos Aires:

    - no one talked while dancing
    - if a woman didn't initiate a brief chat between dances, the man said nothing to her
    - dancers were anonymous in the milongas - no one asked names
    - the only topic of conversation during the tanda was the music
    - a brief comment was to the ear of the partner
    - if a woman asked a man his name, it meant she was interested in more conversation after the milonga

    I agree with you about conversations. I try to limit them at the table as well; I'm at a milonga to listen to the music. It's annoying when the conversations overpower the music. Yes, a dance is a social event, but the noise is drowning out the music.

    Today, there is more socializing ON the dance floor in Buenos Aires than at the tables where men are separated from the women's section. It's the way it is.
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2017
    itwillhappen likes this.
  13. I disagree with your disagreement...:) Having said that, your opinion is as valid as mine or anyone's else.
    I do not "grade" dancers as good or whatever for the same reason I do not correct errors they do. We are there to dance and have fun.
  14. itwillhappen

    itwillhappen Active Member

    I think it's important not to block ladies with smalltalk after a tanda.
    And I have now spend 50 years on optimizing smalltalk and compliments, more or less unconscious, with more or less success. And a milonga is just a dance party. Not very likely that I'll change my behaviour much, may by I'll "judge" the weather, a skirt or a perceived dance level in a positive way if I feel so. :)
  15. ArbeeNYC

    ArbeeNYC Member

    I was under the impression, judging by what I see here, that it is (or was) common to chat between the songs in a tanda. Some people can stand and talk for a good minute before dancing, which is a considerable amount of time for a 3-minute tango. Someone once told me that that's the way it's done in B.A. And sometimes it's weird to remain completely silent between songs. A few seconds of minor chit-chat doesn't hurt. Of course, you could just sigh with happiness.
  16. ArbeeNYC

    ArbeeNYC Member

    But she may have meant it.
  17. ArbeeNYC

    ArbeeNYC Member

    Agree. My partner complained the other night about the guy behind us who talked throughout the entire tanda. He obviously wasn't whispering into her ear since we were in front of him and could hear him.
  18. ArbeeNYC

    ArbeeNYC Member

    You can dance in place until they move, otherwise you've got to either talk until they move or stand there looking at one another in silence.
  19. jantango

    jantango Active Member

    The social chattering has escalated in the milongas over the last ten years with the flood of tourism. Portenos are interested in dancing with all the new women, so the first question is "where are you from?" If she understands the question, the conversation continues to the point of missing half of the dance.

    It's the way it's done TODAY in Buenos Aires, but it hasn't always been like this. I don't feel "weird" when I remain silent during a tanda of Di Sarli. The music continues for about 12 minutes, and I don't want to miss a second. Serious partners get back into the embrace in a few seconds. Chit-chat isn't required. If a woman doesn't want to speak, that is her prerogative. Sighing is enough.

    Are there people who don't talk between dances? Yes, the married couples who are there to dance! They may not even talk at the table. They are that serious about tango.
  20. ArbeeNYC

    ArbeeNYC Member

    That's pretty serious. There's a good deal of chatter in our milongas among all concerned. I mostly like to dance when I'm on the floor (we can talk at the table) but a brief intro between songs when dancing with a stranger or visitor is OK. I'm not in favor of the extended conversations some people have, however, no. And the line of dance backs up behind them, of course.

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