Tango Argentino > How do you get Dance invitations

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by lovetotango, Jul 25, 2017.

  1. Bailango

    Bailango New Member

    Out of curiosity, in two hours, how many tandas did the newcomer dance with taxi dancers?

    Is two to three tandas in three hours average or is it an outlier? What would be average for men at the same milonga?
  2. Vincenze

    Vincenze Member

    Did you miss the part about her age?
  3. Bailango

    Bailango New Member

    No I didn't. You are probably mixing up two different questions. Irrespective of age, the newcomer is reported to have danced every tanda for two hours.

    Dancing two to three tandas in three hours is what the poster reported for self and the girlfriend. There was no age information and I don't see it being relevant.
  4. Vincenze

    Vincenze Member

    No, actually everybody wants to dance with a partner who is very good. But I can say that sometimes it's very difficult to dance with a very good female partner because she doesn't want to compensate for your errors and she doesn't want to guess your steps.
  5. Vincenze

    Vincenze Member

    She is 87. Either she danced every tanda with the taxi dancer or Latinos respected her age and invited her.
  6. lovetotango

    lovetotango New Member

    I think we all make errors and the important thing is knowing how to compensate for the errors skillfully, very good leader and followers are usually adept at doing this. .
  7. JTh

    JTh Member

    Yep. Even the experts make quite a few errors. It's just that they are great at very quickly compensating for it such that you barely notice and the complete performance looks flawless.
  8. itwillhappen

    itwillhappen Active Member

    I suppose it is more sustainable to find ways to feel comfortable at milongas and to enjoy the music and the setting. If you only mange it to get more dances you might easily come back because you need better dances. And so on...
    Lilly_of_the_valley likes this.
  9. Lilly_of_the_valley

    Lilly_of_the_valley Well-Known Member

    It is a very good point. If you need to dance a certain amount of tandas or percentage of time to be happy and consider your outing a success, you will very often be unhappy and frustrated, because there is never a guarantee (unless you hire a taxi dancer, but it is a different story). And it does not matter whether you are young, old, pretty or not, good dancer or so-so dancer, a regular or a new face etc, etc. All these characteristics are relative, and may play in your favor or against depending on circumstances.
    Make it not about quantity.
  10. Reuven Thetanguero

    Reuven Thetanguero Active Member

    I do not know lovetotango so obviously non of my comments are directed at her personally.
    I hear from time to time single ladies asking " I want to meet a man to share my life with, I am attractive, smart, have a good job - why I can not get a second date or find someone? I have so much to offer." So what's the story?
    In my opinion it takes more than a great resume. It requires being open to new things and showing it. It requires reflecting outwards those wants and desires. Men sense those things and respond accordingly.
    This is true on the dancing scene as well. Sometimes I sense a non inviting attitude that may be hard to describe, but it's there. At other times the body language says the opposite of what her intentions are.
    So it's impossible to answer questions the OP posted, as there too many variables involved.
  11. oldtangoguy

    oldtangoguy Active Member

    I attended a milonga last night. Six women without escorts were sitting together. I'm acquainted with them and know that they are not excellent dancers, but they are certainly adequate. And they were clearly hoping to dance - beautiful shoes and dressed up. However, rather than look around the room, they looked at each other and chatted. I tried and failed a number of times to get one of them, any one, to look towards me so I could cabeco. I finally walked over and asked one. She seemed extremely pleased that she was getting to dance.

    Another woman last night sat by herself and gazed at me. I didn't know her, but inadvertently made eye contact. If I didn't want to be rude, I had no choice but to dance with her. Turned out to be a fine dance, and I watched her throughout the evening get dance after dance. Perhaps one of the reasons she was a good dancer was that she got to dance so much.

    I do not know the OP's situation, but, in general, I would suggest that if a follow wants to dance, she not sit with friends and chat. I would suggest that she sit by herself and look towards leaders.
  12. JTh

    JTh Member

    Yes.. Similar to my posts above.. If followers want to dance more - simple...be open and not engrossed in conversation with your friends.
    More than that...just ask men to dance.!! (don't worry about historical established norms).. Just ask them...works both ways.
    As a lead, I rarely make much eye contact.. I just ask...and if I get shot down (very rarely if ever) .. Then so be it..respect the decision and move on to the next one.
    Leads and followers are there for similar reasons: meet people and dance...so it's why it's so difficult? Both want the same thing.
    I can tell you I have been asked numerous times by followers to dance..
    Never shot down any follower. And you bet they (as well as me) have greatly appreciated it. Both the dance and not being shot down.
  13. newbie

    newbie Well-Known Member

    Happened to my follower to. Actively trying to get invited, standing up, facing the dance-floor, smiling, whatever, and getting zero invitations. Then giving up, ordering a beer at the bar, sipping it, her back to the dancefloor, and getting invited. Go figure.
    A recommendation I've heard is to go together with another follower.
  14. itwillhappen

    itwillhappen Active Member

    Maybe a better recomendation is to go together with the husband/SO. ;)

    We've a clear "couple first strategy" - we "invite us" if some imbalance shows up.
    So even a mediocre milonga is at least a milonga where we danced a lot and quite well.
    (At a well disposed milonga we behave more open, of course.)
  15. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    I´m not the only one around that would advice, never to go to a milonga with your husband, wife, or loved partner!
  16. itwillhappen

    itwillhappen Active Member

    Maybe in general there could be a bunch of implications. But I've met my SO at a milonga. So it would be rather strange if I would not show up with her. :cool:
    sixela likes this.
  17. newbie

    newbie Well-Known Member

    Arguably the worst possible recommendation. Going with another follower, then for the potential leader you're not alone (no black sheep, no ugly little swan), and you're available. Going with your partner is a no-no for the other leaders, unless you're playing it wily and try to provoke the indigenous alpha male to precisely invite you because you're with your husband. Can work in BsAs.
  18. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    So did I, but we usually come and leave separately, with the exception of christmas, easter, primavera, new year, carnival, birthdays, festivals. And everyone who is deep enough in the community will get to know that so many do it this way.
  19. itwillhappen

    itwillhappen Active Member

    To sit close together is an disavantage, of course,
    but I don't know any couple that enters and leaves separate in our community.

    My SO gets invited when I go aside a bit, even more if I invite actively. So we don't consider any pull-ups.

    Other ladies are not always happy that she dances most of the time the one or the other way, but that's life...
  20. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    I think this is be true when no one in the community knows you (the couple). Otherwise, not so much. If people in the community know you, they also know whether you dance exclusively, or with others. Also, if people aren't sure, as soon as the man dances with someone else, it tends to make things more clear.

    Now if you're BsAs at a milonga that follows the codes, the woman can sit with the other women (on their side), and the man can sit with the other men (on the other side).
    opendoor likes this.

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