Tango Argentino > How do you get Dance invitations

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by lovetotango, Jul 25, 2017.

  1. ArbeeNYC

    ArbeeNYC Member

    How long is a while? One year, three, five, twenty? There are so many factors involved other than skill. There is a great deal of talk about skill levels and being well matched, about how carefully we dress, and how we behave but, in my experience at least, most of those are secondary factors. A great deal has to do with your local community -- where you dance (what city), the size of your local community (200 people, 500, 1000, more?), the frequency of milongas, your frequency of attendance, the regularity of attendance (core groups of dancers, an ever-changing roster of dancers, a mix?), and so on. If you live in Buenos Aires, that's one thing, and skill or regularity might be the determining factor, but if you're in a big city in North America, then the local mores will apply (even though everyone pays lip service to the traditional codigos).

    Becoming a regular helps, but isn't a guarantee unless you can develop a pool of dancers who enjoy dancing with you. It sounds like you're doing all the right things -- dress, attitude, etc. -- so it may just be a function of people not knowing you. Don't be too hard on yourself. Go out more often if you can. Don't have any expectations. Enjoy the music. Socialize whenever possible. And things may change.
  2. jantango

    jantango Active Member

    This is the 87-year-old woman and her taxi dancer in the milonga El Maipu in Obelisco Tango.

    A tanda lasts about 12 minutes (4 dances 3 minutes each), so there are five tandas per hour at a milonga. She hired the taxi dancer for two hours, so she could have danced ten tandas with him (or $20 per tanda). We had conversation, so I know she didn't dance every tanda during the two hours, but she certainly tried to. I wrote about it here: https://jantango.wordpress.com/2017/08/02/nonstop-dancing/

    Social dancing keeps people well and healthy. There are many amazing dancers in their late 80s and 90s who go regularly to dance at the milongas in Buenos Aires. I danced with a man on Sunday who turns 97 on September 16.
  3. larrynla

    larrynla Member

    What others have said. You can only do so much: go regularly, mostly to the same milongas, dress well, smile and be friendly to everyone, make friends of both sexes, try to improve by taking classes and practicas. And accept the harsh reality that more men will ask young and pretty women to dance. That biological imperative is not going to change in the next few centuries of human existence despite its cruel side effects.
    lovetotango likes this.
  4. Reuven Thetanguero

    Reuven Thetanguero Active Member

    It's true that most men will ask younger/pretty women to dance, but good leaders will spot good followers regardless of their age. I prefer to dance with a good follower any time, over having to struggle with a mediocre pretty face.
    Steve Pastor likes this.
  5. larrynla

    larrynla Member

    That is YOUR preference. It happens to be mine as well, but we are not I suspect representative of most men.

    Related to your point: it's amazing how a partner can begin to look better the better they dance, and the more we dance with them. And this is true of both sexes; in particular I think of a man who is rather homely of face and frail of body who is an amazing leader. He can analyze a follower's skill very quickly & adapt to her, making even a beginner look and feel like a wonderful dancer, and lead her into the movements she delights in. He never lacks partners on floor and off.
    jantango and Reuven Thetanguero like this.
  6. newbie

    newbie Well-Known Member


    Hey larryinla, aren't you somehow famous? Larry in Los Angeles reminds me of something. Were you hosting a famous tango festival? Or writing a famous tango blog?
  7. larrynla

    larrynla Member

    I had a tango web site in LA for many years with news of local events. Then Vladimir Estrin created a similar site. He did, and still does, such a terrific job that I let my site lapse. The amount of time and energy (and love!) he spends on the site must be phenomenal.

  8. Steve Pastor

    Steve Pastor Moderator Staff Member

    Yeah, Larry, I remembered you too, for something...

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