Tango Argentino > What are the 5 top reasons that make a man ask a woman to dance? Beauty comes first?

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by Paula M, Jul 29, 2010.

  1. itwillhappen

    itwillhappen Active Member

    Tango can be quite competitive - to find dance partners is vital to stay there for many people.

    Here I am nobody. I am invisible. I am untouchable.
  2. JTh

    JTh Member

    Yeah..Because this is a subjective question and thus you will not get anything definitive that all agree on...doesn't mean the discussion should not be had.. Just that there will likely not be consensus, rather a range of factors that have been highlighted in this thread.
    I do read your undercurrent of sarcasm :)
  3. newbie

    newbie Well-Known Member

    "Sometimes I go to a milonga and nobody invites me." Mariana Montes, during a briefing before a group trip to BsAs.
    So the top reasons are neither beauty nor skill.

    itwillhappen and JTh like this.
  4. Mladenac

    Mladenac Well-Known Member

    Too much beauty or too much skill :brb:
    RiseNFall likes this.
  5. JTh

    JTh Member

    Not many are in her league..in both areas :)
    This would have intimidated some followers and that's probably why she got passed over...
  6. nagamiki

    nagamiki New Member

    I am very curious what if a less skilled leader invite her? Would she accept and have fun? Or she would rather wait for a skilled hunter?
    Vincenze likes this.
  7. Tango Distance

    Tango Distance Active Member

    From the link, she did accept a less skilled leader:
    "... Then there was a physically painful tanda with an unknown leader with very little musicality and zero connection. Seriously? ..."
    itwillhappen likes this.
  8. Mr 4 styles

    Mr 4 styles Well-Known Member

    Well if she is going to criticize her leader I would not ask her either. Despite how hot she is
    Mladenac likes this.
  9. snapdancer

    snapdancer Well-Known Member

    "... Then there was a physically painful tanda with an unknown leader with very little musicality and zero connection. Seriously? ..."

    My question also. How can there be physical pain with zero connection?
  10. Vincenze

    Vincenze Member

    She will humiliate the leader. Either she will decline or she will say "Thank you" and leave him after the first dance.

    Also, advanced followers live in their own world. They are accustomed to precise leading of advanced leaders. They will complain if a less experienced leader won't lead them correctly, while an ordinary follower will follow incorrect leading.
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2017
  11. Vincenze

    Vincenze Member

    She went to a tango marathon.
    The ratio of women/men was 2/1 or even 3/1.
    She's been dancing tango for more than 6 years, but she had no friends at that place.
    There are usually no classes at a marathon to get acquainted with new friends.

    But the reality is that men travel to a distant marathon to dance with the hottest and most desirable women. They have no need to dance with less desirable women as they won't see them again.
  12. itwillhappen

    itwillhappen Active Member

    I can't find an information about this ratio in her article.
    Have you attended accidentally that event, too?
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2017
  13. itwillhappen

    itwillhappen Active Member

    What about you - do you have fun in the situation that only a less skilled followers accept your invitation from time to time?
  14. Vincenze

    Vincenze Member

    She had written that she wanted to go to the tango marathon in Berlin.

    I found a video from the marathon.
    There are many women sitting on the sides.
    There are a few female leaders. Actually, one of them in black sneakers resembles her.

    Most men dance with long-legged short-skirt young ladies.
    The ballroom doesn't have many dancers. If there are many dancers in a ballroom, then if the most popular ladies are taken, a man has to find a less popular woman.

  15. Vincenze

    Vincenze Member

    I personally don't have problems dancing with less skilled followers.
    Once they learn the basic steps and the skill of following, they are good enough for me. I can easily adjust my steps to her level.
    They usually exhibit special charm and joy.

    On the other hand, dancing with an advanced lady can be completely boring.
    Mladenac likes this.
  16. nagamiki

    nagamiki New Member

    Yes, and currently I could only have fun with followers that less skilled than me, I think it may because I have no pressure and can dance freely with them.
    On the other hand, if dancing with advanced followers I will be very nervous and I think whatever I do will not bring any surprise to them, and also they sometimes dance themselves without my lead.
    Maybe all these because I am not a very advanced leader, and should improve my leading skills. :)
    itwillhappen and LadyLeader like this.
  17. LadyLeader

    LadyLeader Active Member

    For some time I have had a feeling that the female leaders' honeymoon is over! When we were accepted as leaders on the pista most of us started to dance with our follower peers. Some ladies were at higher level, experienced followers and when shifting they got the idea that they were just sliding horisontaly to leader skills at the same high level. Their experienced peer followers were following fantastic, doing all the things they were leading!

    One of my followers asked for advise a few years back. She said: You know my level as follower (very good!) and could you please tell me at what leader course level i should start? My answer: At the beginner level! was not accepted. Her musicality and body/movement skills will take her faster forward but the other leader skills are totally different and need to be trained from the beginning.

    For years female leaders were accepted to events as a sign of gender equality attitude among the organizers. Today it looks like this is changing and the female leader skill must match the general skill requirements for that event. I see this as a sign of a true acceptance of female leaders as part of the leader group. Equal requirements for every leader!

    As a dancer I must choose the events according to my dancing skill as well as dancing style. If the followers smile and accept my cabeceo then i am in the right place if not i made a bad choice. Encuentro/milonguero style has been my broadest skill and followingly it was not a total success to visit a tango marathon. My dancing style was not attractive there. IMO the blogger was rude when she tried to force a follower verbaly when her cabeceo was not accepted. Choose better the coming events!

    I must though admit that the cabeceo skills are not very well trained in Europe. I don't for sure know if she is just chatting the 1-2 songs in a tanda or if she is ignoring me. When I made a cabeceo in South Korea she looked surprised at me, giggled a little and nodded for yes. The same happened in Buenos Aires. I am still amazed by the strength of cabeceo! In both places they were not used to female leaders but they knew that it was a cabeceo and they knew that I made it as a leader.
    itwillhappen likes this.
  18. Mladenac

    Mladenac Well-Known Member

    A follower is allowed to dance by themselves, it is not a crime.
    I like it when it is given within a context of dancing, or they are correcting.

    Too much of dancing by themselves is a big no no.
    And that is not a sign of an advanced follower.
    The follower needs to be supportive, not destructive.

    Part of the leading skills is to correct what went wrong.
    So make intentional mistakes and try to correct them. ;)
  19. LadyLeader

    LadyLeader Active Member

    This is about the same I have came up to with my own dance!

    The intuitive dance comes alive for me only with followers who share with me a similar musicality, movement vocabulary or can adapt easily and the skill levels are about the same. If the skill gap is too big upwards or down I must activate the brain to analyze what limitations there is for her or how I should use my own limited vocabulary in the most effective way. It is like to drive with hand breaks on or the opposite in a big, busy city when used to the traffic in my home town.
  20. TomTango

    TomTango Active Member

    From the "Here I am Nobody." article posted previously:

    It seems to me that sexiness is coincidentally correlated with dance ability. Those with lithe, athletic bodies tend to have better body awareness and balance due to other physical activities. Younger people are more flexible, and so generally have better dissociation, leg articulation, etc. Being dressed in a "tanguera's uniform" generally means that if they've put a lot of time into their appearance, they've probably also put a lot of time into all the other aspects of their tango.

    In my experience in America, in a very general sense, the best dancers in the room also happen to be youthful and attractive. So, it's very easy for leaders to target these followers for dances because they assume they're going to get a good dance on appearance, and are often validated. This is bad news for the subset of dancers who aren't lithe, young, or just like to wear normal dresses to milongas, but are still very good dancers. It leads to false assumptions by sitting followers like the ones quoted above: the assumption that men are asking these women to dance because they're sexy. While I'm sure sexiness doesn't hurt, the reality is that those women are probably also just better dancers.

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